FAA Bans Taco Bell - Fears Explosive Diarrhea

In a suprise move, the FAA announced this afternoon that airline passengers will no longer be able to board their intended flight with food from Taco Bell, Taco John's, La Salsa, Taco Time, Chili's or any other franchise Mexican restaurant. This announcement comes on the heels of today's foiled terrorist plot in Iceland. Six Icelandic radical muslim extremist goat herders were caught in a daring internet sting operation.

The Icelandic Homeland Security Taskforce reports that the goal of the group was to unleash a horrific assault of synchronized, explosive diarrhea so violent that it would damage the plane's delicate skin and potentially bring the craft down.

As with the previous ban on liquids and gels, "the burrito ban" has caused much uproar among travelers in US airports. Harriet Crud of Flushing Meadows NY was fuming while in line for the security check at JFK. "This is ridiculous! They took my chimi-chonga AND my hot sauce! I don't see what the big stink is about."

In an unexpected twist, this new ban has added yet another possibility to the list of conspiracy theories surrounding the plane crash at the Pentagon on 9-11. The tin foil-hat-crowd has long asserted that no evidence exists to support the common belief that a plane actually impacted the walls of the Pentagon. A truck load of theories have surfaced on thousands of "web-logs" from all over the web. We spoke with Eugene Pujolz from Kickapoo, Wisconsin said "I think we've got our smoking gun here. To believe a plane did that damage is insane. We're looking at an inside job here. We're going to blow the lid off this one."

Explosive diarrhea - an embarrassing annoyance, a hilarious concept but the the hands of a terrorist, a deadly weapon of mass destruction.